Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Food for Thought

I try my best to help my body heal from within with healthy food. If chemo is running through my veins, I might as well do what I can to restore my body, right? That is something I have been very aware of. I try to see it from a holistic point-of-view. So I even got a juicer and have been juicing, along with trying to eat organic, fresh food. Oh, and in case you were not aware, stay away from grapefruit ANYTHING during your treatment. Also, here is a little link to help you with some of the most healthy things to eat out there, but remember, as with everything, check with your doctor if you are not sure about certain foods. The bottom line is this: your body needs nutrition, especially when going through chemo/radiation, so feed yourself. If mac-n-cheese is all you crave, then eat that (and do not, I repeat do not feel guilty about this). But if you can handle some extra veggies or maybe some pomegranate juice here and then, why not? Your body will greatly appreciate it!

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Graphic by Lili
"...the present moment is the only moment in which we can be alive."
-Thich Nhat Hanh

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

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Photo by Lili
Dreamy California

Monday, October 27, 2008

But It's Not Fair!

Remember way back at the beginning of this blog I mentioned not bothering with the "Why me?" I read a little something to that effect in a wonderful book called The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama. 
"In our daily life, problems invariably arise. But problems themselves do not automatically cause suffering. If we can directly address our problem and focus our energies on finding a solution, for instance, the problem can be transformed into a challenge. If we throw into the mix, however, a feeling that our problem is 'unfair,' we add an additional ingredient that can become powerful fuel in creating mental unrest and emotional suffering. And now we not only have two problems instead of one, but that feeling of 'unfairness' distracts us, consumes us, and robs us of the energy needed to solve the original problem."

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Breathe Easy

One of the side effects that comes along with chemo is that you get super sensitive to scents. Not really fun. I start getting a bit nauseated now just walking into the treatment center, and that's because of the way it smells. Plus, things like the alcohol cleansing pads, the flushes, even the way my urine smells during and after treatment get to me. That is why I have to tell you about: Origins Peace-of-Mind sensory therapy. It works wonders! Originally used to alleviate headaches and body tensions naturally, I decided to put a drop of the lotion under my nose and TADA! No more bad smells! This little lotion seriously delivers a rush of scent, including calming mint and soothing rosemary. It totally does the trick for me and now whenever I go to treatment, I always bring it along with me (fits in my pocket)!

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Photo courtesy of W magazine
"If you use one perfume all the time, you don't smell it anymore. 
Then you put on too much, and people faint."
-Karl Lagerfeld

Friday, October 24, 2008

Hair Ties

Photo courtesy of Cheri Messerli
Probably one of the scariest things when one first hears the word chemo is the immediate thought of losing one's hair. Our hair is such a big part of everyday life, such a big part of our image. However, don't run out and shave your head immediately. First of all, hair lost is not mandatory. It doesn't affect everyone. My friend Jason went through 4 cycles of chemotherapy and got away with only slight thinning of the hair (barely noticeable). I did go out and get a cute short haircut that I always wanted to try during my 2nd cycle, however, because I figured if I did lose my hair, I didn't want to lose long locks of it. I could handle short pieces of hair falling out much better! So go out and have fun! Get a wild short haircut! After my 4th cycle of chemotherapy, my hair was really thin (again, it took 4 cycles to thin it out to the point of considering shaving it), so my amazing boyfriend and I decided to go all the way and shave both of our heads (did I mention how incredible he is...he had 12 inches of hair)!! And you know what, it was liberating!! We had so much fun, and the fact that he did it for me and with me made me feel that much more powerful. Honestly, I love it (it's still shaved right now). It feels so incredible to take a shower and scrub my scalp. And riding my bike and feeling the breeze against my scalp is downright magnificent! And, I also bought a wig. You can get some really fabulous wigs made out of real hair for really reasonable prices, plus most wig shops will give you a discount if you mention that you are going through chemo. It's a win-win. Plus it takes a matter of minutes to get ready now. Pretty cool. Be proud of your shaved head. Carry yourself with the esteem of having overcome one of the biggest fears people can imagine. You have crossed over a threshold that many people in their lifetime will never experience. It truly sets you apart. And for those days that you don't feel like thinking of your shaved head, wear that fabulous wig and carry on, chin up!


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Wellness Community

If you live in or near Los Angeles, there is an incredible place called The Wellness Community that offers free programs for people with cancer and their families. The programs offered are absolutely wonderful, including yoga, Chi Gong, T'ai Chi, strength training, relaxation/visualization and meditation just to name a few. TWC also hosts weekly support groups and networking groups. It truly has been a blessing to have. I especially recommend the restorative yoga class, taught by Sonya. This class continues to make a significant impact on my recovery. Sonya is a master at her craft, and talks you through every gentle pose made to restore nutrients to your body, replenish energy, and calm the mind. She ends the class with some very encouraging words: "May you carry the inner peace you have within you everywhere you go, in all that you say, and in all that you do." Thank you Sonya.

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Photo courtesy of W magazine
"It's very hard to grow, because it's difficult to let go of the models 
of ourselves in which we've invested so heavily."
-Ram Dass

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Hazel

I met the most inspiring woman this week. Her name is Hazel. She is a beautiful, radiant, cancer survivor with a true gusto for life. She recovered from a brain cancer that had spread to her spinal cord, and is doing incredibly well. So well in fact, that she had a few things to say that made me feel so good inside, my whole week was made! Hazel mentioned that during cancer (and even after) we are not really "ourselves." Due to this fact, it is really important to be easy on ourselves. If you find yourself sleeping in til' noon (I can raise my hand here), that's perfectly ok! If your body doesn't look quite the same as before the whole cancer ordeal, just let your body be. If you're napping all the time, go ahead and embrace those naps. If you don't have the energy to talk on the phone, don't. You see, you can address all that stuff once you move past the cancer. Don't let anyone guilt you into doing things you do not want to or try and tell you that you are lazy. Impossible!! If you're fighting to live, you're fighting really hard. Really, really hard. Healing is a full time job. So just let yourself be. Now is not the time to judge or be hard on oneself. And Hazel mentioned one more thing that I thought was really important, she said "It ain't over til it's over." How true that rings. Don't ever give up or lose hope. Nothing is ever over until it really is over. So keep your chin up and fight, fight, fight!!!

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   Photo courtesy of W magazine.
"When we're resting in Awareness, we see that all the forms 
of the Universe are really, in their essence, just one."
        -Ram Dass

Sunday, October 12, 2008

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Photo courtesy of A.P.C.
"Go full speed ahead with whatever it is that excites you most in life." 
 -Takashi Murakami

Checklist

When I was first diagnosed, I didn't know what to do first (or what to do at all!). Here is a little list that I hope can be of help:

1) Let the news sink in. Take a couple of days to let your mind and body absorb the news (this is not meant to sound new age-y, but rather helpful in terms of getting thoughts together and emotions out). When you feel ready, share the news with the people you want to share with.

2) Consider getting in touch with a therapist/mentor. Make an appointment. Thanks to my weekly meeting with my mentor, I got to release, share, cry, shout, laugh, question, find comfort and peace of heart and mind (even if for only that hour). 

3) Start looking into finding a team: an oncologist/hematologist and make appointments! Visit at least 2 different doctors so that you can see who you feel the most comfortable with. If you really do not know where to start, ask recommendations from any of your other doctors (even your dentist!). If you live in the Los Angeles area, I highly recommend Tower Hematology & Oncology. They are an exceptional team of doctors who treat you with the utmost care. If you still are not sure where to start looking for an oncologist, check in with the nearest hospital. And lastly, the web is a wonderful resource. 

4) After finding an oncologist, you are going to need to get some testing done so that you can be staged. Remember, take it one day at a time. The CAT/PET scan is not painful or invasive at all. I try to treat it as a spa-like experience, then reward myself with a big meal afterwards. Testing might also include a bone marrow biopsy (yes, this is painful and invasive but you'll get through it), an echograph of your heart (not invasive nor painful) and a pulmonary function test (not painful; think scuba diving and blowing out candles for an extended amount of time). Insist on getting a copy of all of these results for your own files, along with copies of any blood work drawn. 

5) If your oncologist recommends radiation as part of treatment, set up an appointment with the radiation oncologist. It's another team member that you should be familiar with and comfortable with!

6) Go out and buy a couple of folders: I recommend at least 2 folders, one for copies of test results and any pertinent information regarding treatment, and the other folder for bills and health insurance information and receipts. I also recommend buying a journal to jot down any questions that come up, dates, important numbers, and maybe just a daily entry on how you're doing (I use mine to sketch sometimes).

7) Call your health insurance to see what is covered and to discuss any questions that you might have. 

8) If you can take time off of work, do it. Allow time for yourself to heal and be present with all that is happening. It's a lot to deal with. Period. Check to see if you qualify for disability (human resources at your oncologists office can assist with this). 

9) Don't waste any time wondering "Why me?" No one does anything to deserve this, it's not karma, it's not about luck. It just is. All you can do is move forward and take things day by day, moment by moment. It's time to simply roll with it.

The Importance of Family & Friends

Photo courtesy of A.P.C.
One of the most important things that has come from this experience for me is the major role that my family & friends have played. The bottom line is this: the people who truly love and care about you show up. They are there up to bat for you, swinging their hardest. It has been the most remarkable thing to experience; incredibly moving and fulfilling to the brim. And it is our job to let the love in. I can honestly say that I have never felt more love in my life than right now. It has been floating along by my side, helping my spirits stay high and keeping my focus bright. So let those who love you, love you. Let them help if and when needed. And do not waste any time on anybody who is not present to love you, especially during this hard time. Surround yourself with positive, radiant and nurturing energy. It truly makes all the difference. 

Monday, October 6, 2008

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Photo courtesy of A.P.C.
"Until we know that we can bear the unbearble, we're always running scared."
                                                                                -Ram Dass

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Roll With It

Photo courtesy of A.P.C.

I've finally gotten everything together to put up my blog and it feels really great. My name is Lili and I just wanted to share with anyone who has been affected by Hodgkins, be it directly, family-related, or maybe your friend has just been diagnosed, the experience I've had and continue to have. Although now a cancer survivor, I am still finishing up with treatment. I've been meaning to put this together for a very long time now. Before I post anything more, just a couple of things: I'm not a doctor, a healer, or an expert. I am a 28 year old artist who had the shock of her life when diagnosed with Hodgkins the day after her 28th birthday! Needless to say it has been a strange and beautiful experience; I've felt just about every emotion in the book, have gone through a bunch of tests, have done a ton of reading, and have come to the conclusion that maybe I can be of help to someone out there going through this. I am still me, and what I mean by that is I still embrace art and beauty, hence the images I'm going to post, the poetry, the blogs etc. I'd like to share words and beauty. Cancer is such a scary thing, such a scary process; I'd like to make this blog different. Please leave your comments! Let me know what you think. All we can ever really do is roll with it...